So people that know me know I have hobbies and habits that are considered “odd” or “eclectic” or “concerning”. I enjoy watching commercials from the 80’s and 90’s, I love professional wrestling (Congrats to Kevin Owens who just became the new WWE Universal Champion), mustard-pickle sandwiches are a snack of choice, I un-ironically like bad movies, and of course everything Gremlins-related is on my mind basically 24/7. This article is not about one of those unusual interests, surprisingly.
This is about Hot Wheels, and not just any Hot Wheels, Yellow Submarine Hot Wheels, inspired by the 1968 animated (and contractually obligated) Beatles film.
Growing up, my parents exposed me to tons of music that ran the gamut from folk music to dementia (AKA Novelty/Comedy Music), and of course we had all the Beatles albums.
Once I had finished scratching my Muppets greatest hits records to hell on my big bird record player, I’d listen to a random Beatles album and be transfixed for hours…or at least until I needed to flip the record to the other side. Of course Yellow Submarine grabbed my imagination as a young child, and I often found myself watching the film trying to understand what the hell was going on, and pretending I knew exactly what everything meant when someone would ask me.
Imagine my complete surprise when I browsed the toy aisle after going to the store just to get carrots, cauliflower and a toothbrush, as I find a bin full of Yellow Submarine Hot Wheels.
After about 20 minutes of me doing some intense calculations, I realized all six vehicles would cost me less than $6 (before tax at .94 each) and then I could write about how rad they were on this blog!
First up is the Bump Around “Yellow Submarine”
To be perfectly honest, this was the one that made me question the entire concept because I just don’t like the design. I get that it is a funky design for a funky submarine, but the funk just doesn’t jive with me. It is a bumper car that looks like it was painted to be in a Beatles-themed knockoff bumper car ride at the local county 4-h fair.
So there it is. The unholy amalgamation of a hot dog with far too much mustard that had intimate relations with a bumper car.
Morris Mini – George Harrison
George here gets Sgt. Pepper in the background and a really nice car design, very striking in red with neon green interior. I really like the butterflies on this car, which might pose a problem if you have a severe case of Lepidopterophobia. Then again, it might be a fantastic prank gift if you have a significant other that is terrified of the winged creatures but also a Beatles fan. Just expect to be hit with a frying pan until you forget your kindergarten teacher’s name. Mrs…..Franklin? Knutowski? Smith?
This is where I found a neat little surprise on the side of the car that isn’t visible from the packaging: The entire band is featured on the car’s art. This trend continues with the rest of the Beatles-themed cars, and is a nice touch if you think that Paul is a jerkface or that John was the only REAL Beatle. Just turn the car in the opposite direction and you can rewrite Beatles history.
Final car of the night – Fishd n Chipd – Paul McCartney
Paul is not dead. But his car might as well be. Ok that was a bit unfair of me, I just don’t dig this car’s design. I’m not sure why but it bugs me. It doesn’t flow well and it feels not at all “Paul-ish”. It just seems like someone thought “Oh hey we have to make a car for Paul don’t we? Throw some daisies on it, paint it blue, call it a day and get some Popeye’s chicken.
I can’t say this car is a total loss, I absolutely love the actual body design. Somewhat Jaguar-esque but legally distinct, it has strong lines and other words that describe sexy cars. (Full disclosure I have totally no knowledge of cars. I can barely survive getting behind the wheel on a daily basis, as I am never quite sure what to do next at any given moment. )
Now the other side, the art featuring more on the whole band in blue and less on the unfortunate daisies, giving a color-coordinated look to the whole thing. Not bad as long as we pretend the Paul side doesn’t exist. I’m alright with this plan.
That’s all for tonight. Part 2 finishes off the cars!